A POST! A POST!

Hello World!

The Gods of Creative Humor Writing are still being jerks, wagging their fingers at me, being all like "Nuh uh girlfriend, you are NOT publishing a post! You need to focus on eating Nutella straight out of the jar and taking a ridiculous amount of instagram photos of your pets".

But now I'm all "I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE! I'VE BEEN GIVEN A MAGICAL SPEAR OF CREATIVITY BY THE UNICORN KING OF SOCIAL MEDIA. STOP ME NOW, BITCHES!"

That's right, I'm fighting back, mothafuckas. 

Yep, looks about right.

Now that I'm back on the blogging wagon, I have some MAJOR catching up to do. Since my last post, I've had a few major changes happen in my life. (Spoiler: these changes do not include an engagement.) And rather than blurt it all out now, I think I'll divulge the updates one post at a time.

Suspense, y'all. I like to keep you coming back for more.

In the meantime, here's a mini post proving that not only is Andrew the Hick still around, he's mastered the art of dad jokes and improv.

Andrew's shirt says "I love animals... they're delicious."
Also, the ghost wearing black behind Andrew is actually me.

A few nights ago, Andrew had the glorious idea to have a cup of coffee an hour before bedtime. Giving a cup of coffee to a man with ADHD like Andrew is like giving a cup of coffee to a 5-year-old with ADHD.

The result of this combination was both of us laying in bed, him spouting off non-stop horrible jokes and me trying desperately to drown them out. What's worse, when he ran out of horrible jokes, he started to invent ones. This one was the cream of the crop:

 - What did the turtle say when he went into the sea urchin?

"Damn, you spiked...DA PUNCH!"

Seriously. That was the punch line.

So hopefully the fight against evil procrastination and writer's block continues, and another post will be up soon.